By Shenay Lewis-Hairston
As women, we’re frequently socialized to wear multiple hats: the professional hat, the mother hat, the partner hat, the friend hat, the caregiver hat and so forth. In fact, if there ever was an award for multitasking, most women would probably be waving around the trophy after having juggled work meetings, family duties, personal hobbies, and everything in between — all before noon.
But in this never-ending juggling of hats, there’s one really important hat that can get easily lost: your self-care hat. For women who are used to giving so much to other people, how can we make sure we’re not emptying the tank? How do we take care of ourselves when our daily lives are insane?
The answer is straightforward — and yet, it’s the one thing few people can do. The answer is self-care..
The Many Hats We Wear
We all know the roles we play in our lives: employee, homemaker, volunteer, caregiver. Each turb has its responsibilities, obligations and expectations. But as we continue to collect hats to wear, we neglect the needs of each one, which needs to be cared for, each needs balance and each most importantly, needs rest.
How often do you catch yourself going from one thing to the next without taking a breath? Or, how many times do you reach the end of the week and feel as though you’ve given so much of yourself that there’s barely any left for yourself?
Self-care isn’t all facemasks and bubble baths (though those are nice.) It’s not that we switch off, but that we purposefully make time to recharge so we can keep giving, without running our own battery low.
Self-Care Isn’t Selfish, It’s Necessary
Many women for whom this kind of caregiving isn’t part of their day-to-day lives find that taking time for self-care seems indulgent, at best, and at worst an added luxury their packed lives can’t accommodate. But the reality is that self-care isn’t a selfish act — it’s a vital way we prepare to play our best in the various roles we play in life.
Dr. Tiffany D. Johnson, a psychologist specializing in women’s wellness, explains it perfectly:
“When women neglect self-care, they’re not just harming themselves—they’re also limiting their ability to give to others. Whether you’re a mother, partner, or businesswoman, your ability to function at your best is directly tied to how well you take care of yourself.”
The thing is, when we do take time for ourselves, it’s not only us that benefits. Our families, our careers and our community’s benefit. It’s like the analogy we are given on airplanes: You have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else. You can’t assist anyone if you are gasping for breath.
Simple Self-Care Strategies for Busy Women
So how do we make time for self-care when there’s none to be had? The key is to make small changes and focus on moments of calm, not to hold out for that ideal, perfect day when you can finally relax. Here are a couple of what-to-do-self-care practical steps for multitasking women:
1. Make Time for “Me Moments”
Self-care does not need to imply hours of solitary time (though that’s wonderful whenever you can have it). There are some in between, and small moments of purposeful quiet can make a big difference. Consider looking into a daily practice of meditation, journaling, reading or even just some deep breathing for 10-15 minutes a day. This cumulates if allowing this mini-break, this moment, this time out to add up gives you the sensation you want to be on and more centered in your own power and essence.
2. Set Boundaries Like a Boss
Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves, yet for many women, they carry guilt. Saying “no” when you’re overcommitted is not a sign of weakness — it’s a sign of self-respect. Try talking to friends and co-workers about being clear in expressing your needs. It may be uncomfortable at first, but in the end you are simply able to give more when you respect your limits.
3. Get Moving, Even for a Few Minutes
Exercise is one of the best ways to recharge. (And no, that doesn’t have to mean an hourlong sweat session at the gym — unless that’s your thing!) Even a short stroll, a 10-minute session of yoga flow or dancing in your living room to your favorite tune can help release stress and improve your mood.
4. Practice Saying “Yes” to Fun
It’s easy to get into the mindset that fun is something we are too busy for, but the fact of the matter is that fun is self-care. Whether it is hanging out with your friends at a coffee shop, watching a movie that makes you laugh, or taking a spontaneous weekend trip, do not allow the hustle of life to rob you of your joy. You have to laugh and not take things too seriously to keep your spirit alive.
5. Ask for Help Without Guilt
One of the strongest acts of self-care we can do is to realize that we don’t have to do it on our own. Delegate the tasks that you don’t have to take care of yourself to a partner, friends or family members. It can help you save time to rest, and it enables others to feel a part of the system of support.
Self-Care Is a Radical Act of Love
Self-care for women is not a luxury. “Because it’s a radical act of love for not only ourselves, but the people who we care for. When we care for ourselves, we develop resilience, creative ideas and energy that enable us to blossom in our diverse responsibilities.
It can’t be overstated but many hats doesn’t always mean being “everything” for everyone all the time. Feel free to take off the hats and rest the crown. Self care is a process, not a mission – and it’s something every woman should make a priority.
Final Thought
The world may tell you to be everything, but you’re allowed to be whole. You are allowed to recharge. You have permission to take time for yourself without feeling guilty
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Because when you wear your self-care hat, you’re not simply filling your own cup — you’re refilling the very cup from which all the roles you cherish grow. And, dear reader, that is the most empowering hat any of us will ever wear.
