By Shenay Lewis-Hairston
She’s the one that makes things better, the healer, the midnight soldier piecing everyone else back together. She’s the woman responding to emails at midnight, balancing careers and care giving, pushing quietly through, even when her own tank is out of gas. She’s you. She’s me. And far too frequently, she’s burning out. And yet in a culture that extols hustle and worships at the altar of self-sacrifice, women are conditioned to say “yes” to everything but themselves. But there’s a quiet revolution taking place, one “no” at a time. And it starts with healing
The Burnout We Don’t Talk About Enough
Let’s call it what it is: burnout is more than just feeling tired. It’s soul-exhaustion. It’s weeping in the bathroom between meetings. It’s not being able to take pleasure in things you used to enjoy. It’s that something- has-to -give feeling, and, too frequently, it’s us.
According to a 2024 study by the American Psychological Association, women—especially those in caregiving roles or high-demand jobs—are twice as likely as men to report feeling “constantly overwhelmed.” Add the invisible labor many women carry (think emotional support, domestic chores, and keeping track of everyone’s birthdays), and it’s no wonder we’re fried.
“Women are expected to be everything to everyone, and that’s not sustainable,” says Dr. Nadine Lewis, a clinical psychologist specializing in burnout and stress recovery. “Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s survival.”
The Sacred Power of ‘No’
Contrary to popular belief, “No” isn’t negative. It’s a full sentence. It’s permission. It’s peace. “No is a sacred form of self-respect,” says Tricia Hersey, an author and the founder of the Nap Ministry. “When you say no, you’re taking back time and energy and rest. That’s revolutionary.” It can be uncomfortable at first — especially for people-pleasers or for those who’ve been raised to believe that worth is tied to service. But the more we practice it, the stronger we get. Think of it like a muscle. Flex it with grace. Use it with intention.
Tips for Building Emotional Resilience
Healing isn’t linear, but there are tools that help plant your feet on the journey. Here’s a place to begin:
💛 Spend a few minutes each day attending to your own emotional self. Ask: “What do I need today?” Then honor that answer, whether it’s rest, solitude or carbs.
💛 Set digital boundaries. Just because you can respond at 10 p.m. doesn’t mean you should. Guard your peace — and your inbox.
💛 Name your feelings. Whether it’s a sense of intense sorrow, pounding anger or just feeling plain numb — naming emotions allows you to process and release them.
💛 Normalize saying, “I need help.” Therapy is not weakness; it’s wisdom. Put people in your cirlce who hold space not judgment.
💛 Make rituals, not routines. Exchange rigid to-do lists for small sacred acts like lighting a candle, journaling or going for a slow walk
Her Story: From Burnout to Breakthrough
“I used to think my reputation was that I was the go-to girl,” says Monica Alvarez, a 38-year-old mom and marketing exec. “But I was anxious, exhausted and always at the bottom of the list. And it was when I had a panic attack in my car that I realized — I could not live like that anymore.”
Monica took a three-month hiatus, began therapy and now abides by what she terms her “sacred no.” “I don’t over-explain; I don’t apologize. I just say, ‘That doesn’t work for me right now. It’s changed everything.”
Healing Is Not a Luxury—It’s a Birthright
Rest is its own kind of power. Power in boundaries. Power in choosing yourself. So to every woman who’s ever poured from an empty cup — this is your invitation to raise it. To rest without guilt. To say no without fear. To heal loudly, openly and without apology. For a woman healed doesn’t just survive — she blossoms. And when she rises, she lights the path for others.
